How do I tell my parents I think I have depression or anxiety?

Keep it short and direct: "I've been feeling really down (or anxious) for a few weeks and it isn't going away. I think I need to talk to someone." Then ask for one specific thing, like an appointment with your doctor. You don't need a diagnosis to ask for help.

What if my parents say it's just a phase or that I'm being dramatic?

That can really hurt, but it often comes from fear or not knowing much about mental health. Try again at a calmer time, explain how long it has lasted and how it affects school, sleep or friends, or write them a letter. If they still won't listen, talk to another trusted adult who can help.

Can I see a counselor without my parents?

Your school counselor is a good place to start, and you can usually talk to them without your parents setting it up. Rules about therapy and privacy for minors vary by state, so ask the counselor how confidentiality works where you live. If you're in crisis, you can call or text 988 yourself at any time.

What if I'm scared my parents will be angry or disappointed?

That fear is very common, and most parents care more than they know how to show. It can help to have a school counselor or another trusted adult with you when you tell them. If you're afraid for your safety at home, tell a school counselor or another adult you trust.

Should I tell my pastor or youth leader?

A pastor or youth leader you trust can listen, pray with you, and help you talk to your parents. A good church leader will also encourage you to see a doctor or counselor, because faith and professional care work together. If they say you just need more faith, that is not the whole answer, and you deserve more help.

Is it normal for teens to struggle with mental health?

Yes. SAMHSA notes that 3 out of 4 people with mental health problems showed signs before they were 24. Struggling doesn't mean something is wrong with who you are, and treatment helps.

How to talk to your parents about your mental health

If you’re a teen who has been struggling, telling your parents can feel like the hardest part. You might worry they’ll be upset, won’t understand, or will make it a bigger deal than you want. Those worries are normal. But you don’t have to carry this by yourself, and the adults in your life can’t help with something they don’t know about.

Jordan Snook started this site as a high-school senior because he’d lived through this: his own struggles, and friends who were hurting. He wanted it to be normal to say, out loud, “I’m not okay.” This guide is for that moment.

If you’re thinking about suicide or hurting yourself, don’t wait for the right time to talk to your parents. Call or text 988 now, or see Get help now.

How do I know if I should talk to someone?

Everyone has bad days. SAMHSA says it’s important to talk to a parent, guardian or trusted adult when things like these happen and don’t go away:

You feel sad, empty, hopeless or worthless most of the time
You’ve lost interest in things you used to enjoy
You’re more irritable or angry than usual
You’re pulling away from friends and family
Your sleep or eating has changed a lot
Your grades are slipping, or you can’t concentrate
You have thoughts of hurting yourself or of suicide

These are some of the signs of depression NIMH lists for teens. If worry or fear has started to run your days, that’s worth talking about too. You don’t need to know what it is. That’s a doctor’s job. If it has lasted more than a couple of weeks or it’s getting in the way of life, it’s worth talking about. You can read more about depression and anxiety.

How do I bring it up with my parents?

Pick a calm time. Not in the middle of an argument or when everyone is rushing out the door. A car ride, a walk or a quiet evening often works well, because you don’t have to look at each other the whole time.

Start with one clear sentence. You don’t need a speech. Try one of these:

“Can we talk? I’ve been feeling really down for a while and it’s not getting better.”
“I’ve been having a lot of anxiety and I don’t know how to handle it.”
“I need to tell you something hard, and I need you to just listen first.”
“I think I need to see someone about how I’ve been feeling.”

Give an example or two. “I haven’t been sleeping.” “I’ve stopped wanting to see my friends.” “I cry most nights.” Specifics help parents understand it’s more than a bad week.

Ask for something specific. Parents often want to fix things fast. Tell them what would help: “Can you make me an appointment with the doctor?” or “Can you help me find a counselor?” or “I just need you to know, and to check on me.”

Write it down if talking is too hard. A letter, a note or a text is a real way to start. Some teens hand their parent a note and say, “Can you read this, and then we’ll talk?”

What if my parents don’t take it seriously?

Sometimes the first reaction isn’t the one you hoped for. A parent might say “you’re just tired,” “everyone feels that way,” or “you have nothing to be sad about.” Often that comes from fear, from not knowing much about mental health, or from growing up in a family where nobody talked about it. It isn’t proof that your feelings don’t matter.

You can:

Try again later. Give them time to think. Say, “I know this surprised you. Can we talk about it again tomorrow?”
Explain how long and how much. “This has been going on for two months, and it’s affecting my grades.”
Share something to read. A page like this one, or NIMH’s guide to teen depression, can help a parent understand.
Bring in another adult. A school counselor can help you tell your parents, or talk with them for you.
Ask for a doctor’s visit. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises that signs of depression lasting more than two weeks are a reason to talk with your doctor. Your doctor can check how you’re doing and suggest next steps.

Who else can I talk to if not my parents?

SAMHSA describes a trusted adult as someone who respects your privacy, lets you talk about feelings without judgment, teasing or criticism, gives advice when you ask for it, and helps you plan for the next hard situation. That might be:

Your school counselor. They’re trained for exactly this and can help you take the next step.
A pastor or youth leader. Someone who will listen, pray with you, and also encourage real help.
Your doctor. Mental health is health. Your doctor can screen for depression and anxiety and refer you to a counselor.
A relative, coach or teacher. An aunt, a grandparent, an older cousin, a coach you trust.

If something at home is making you feel unsafe, tell one of these adults. You deserve to be safe.

What does faith have to do with it?

Some teens worry that struggling means they don’t have enough faith. It doesn’t. Scripture is honest about how heavy life can feel:

“The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.” — Psalm 34:18 (WEB)

God’s nearness doesn’t mean you’ll never need a doctor or a counselor. Praying and getting help aren’t opposites. Asking for help can be one of the ways God answers.

What if I need help right now?

If you’re thinking about suicide, or you’re afraid you might hurt yourself, tell someone today. You can call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. It’s free, confidential and open 24/7, and you don’t have to be suicidal to call. You can also text HOME to 741741. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911. Every option is on Get help now.

How to talk to your parents about your mental health

The short answer

Key points